Offside: A Bad Boy Sports Romance Read online

  I haven’t got many people to say goodbye to so it doesn’t take me long to do the rounds. Mom, mates from rugby and mates from outside it, girls, more girls and the others that I hadn’t got round to seeing just yet and lastly, Dad. Dad’s always the easiest because he’s always in the same position and the conversation is one sided. If that poor bastard were still alive he’d kick me in the balls for even thinking about playing a different sport, and then he’d kick everyone’s heads in from the disciplinary board for telling me I couldn’t play rugby here. He was outspoken my dad, right up until the day he couldn’t speak anymore. He was the most important influence in my life and I miss him everyday.

  Corsham put me in business class and it’s fucking incredible. Usually when we travel to international games we get the same kind of treatment, but I didn’t expect it on this journey at all. I thought they were going to stuff me into economy, shut the door and forget about me for a year.

  As I settle into my seat, a glass of champagne on the sidearm and a bowl of warm nuts right next to it, I wonder whether I should be more concerned about the sudden new direction my life has taken.

  I know nothing about what is going to happen. I haven’t even spoken to the contacts at the club. For all I know, Alex and Dougie are business-classing me off to a work camp in the middle of nowhere to break boulders into sand for a year. I’ve got the name of the owner and the team, and I’ve watched a few videos of their games but beyond that, I’m clueless.

  Fuck it. If it doesn’t work out, it’s hardly my fault. It’s not like they’re not used to the English. I’ll just show them how they should be playing the game, not how they think they should be doing it, because based on what I’ve seen, they wouldn’t last two minutes in one of my games, even with the pads on.

  The air stewardesses are cute, and I can’t help but flirt with them. One of them recognizes me too, which gives me a little glimmer of hope for joining the mile high club. I’m going to get a little buzz on first and wait until they’ve served dinner. I don’t mind fucking in tight little spaces, but I’m not prepared to do it on an empty stomach, no matter how good looking these girls are.

  “Is everything alright, Mr. Stone?”

  “Fantastic, thank you. Fucking A.”

  We go from Heathrow to JFK and have a two hour stopover before the next plane leaves, during which time Pandora and I get ourselves a little better acquainted in one of the onsite hotels. She’s not American, so I’ve still got that box to tick, but she does fuck like she could be. I mean, I’ve seen American girls in porn films and I always wondered whether they were as enthusiastic as the films made out. I guess I’ll still have to wait and see, but Pandora is like that. In fact, she screams so much when she comes I’m surprised the glass in the mirror doesn’t shatter.

  It isn’t a bad start I suppose. I’ve hardly been in my new adopted country for more than an hour and I’ve already managed to get laid.

  Pandora has to go off and work and I’ve got another plane to catch, so we check out of the hotel an hour after checking in and both go our separate ways. It takes three hours to get to Arkansas from JFK and already people are beginning to talk in weird accents. I get odd looks from odd looking people and for the first time on the journey I begin to feel a bit unsettled about where it is I’m going exactly.

  We arrive at Little Rock and the taxi’s nowhere to be seen. My cell phone doesn’t work and neither does my card in the ATM.

  I don’t have any dollar bills in my wallet either because I didn’t think I’d need them. I’m about to ask the concierge if I can use the phone on her desk to call England, when I see this beautiful girl coming towards me. I mean she is so beautiful my brain is scrambled for a minute and I have to concentrate hard not to sound like a dick when I talk to her. For a minute I think she’s going to bowl right past me and then she stops in front and looks me up and down with a twinkle and a smile.

  “Jasper Stone?”

  I straighten up so she can see me in all my glory.

  “Yeah, that’s me.”

  “You’re bigger than you look on TV. I’m Penny, welcome to Arkansas.”

  Penny sticks out her hand and in mine it disappears quickly.

  “You’re my taxi driver?”

  “I’m your taxi driver, your publicist and your best friend. I also pay your wages while you’re here so you better be nice to me.”

  “I think I can manage that.”

  Penny doesn’t even give me a second look. I guess if she works with men every day, she might have somehow got immune to them. I look forward to changing that soon though, because damn this girl is hot.

  “So is everyone who works at the club like you?”

  “Like me, how?”

  “Female and cute.”

  She gives me a side glare for that macho comment and then ignores it completely.

  “Come on, let’s go. We need to get you up to speed.”

  “Just show me where.”

  I follow Penny’s cute little ass to the tarmac outside the airport where she’s left her car.

  “I was expecting a limousine.”

  “You do well enough you can take one back at the end of the season. Right now, this is all Moxlin can afford.”

  I dump my bags in the trunk and get inside.

  Penny

  To be fair, he does look like trouble. Tattoos snaking up arms as thick as tree branches, a chest that makes the T-shirt he’s wearing look painted on. He’s got gorgeous eyes that they failed to mention and didn’t come across at all as well in the photos and videos I’ve studied, and a something about him I can’t quite put my finger on, that’s more than just that cheeky, knowing smile, it’s something that says, ‘watch me, I’m dangerous’.

  This is the kind of person that girls fall in love with like that, and they don’t even know why. This one’s got heartbreaker written all over him. I knew it already, I’ve read the reports, the newspaper articles, the column inches, but it doesn’t matter, that’s not why he’s here anyway. He’s here to perform for us in a sporting capacity, not a sexual one, and it’s our job as staff members at Moxlin Tigers to make sure he does just that. It’s my job as much as possible to keep him out of trouble as well, because I know if I don’t it’ll be the end of The Tigers and the end of my job.

  “Been in Arkansas before?”

  “I’ve never even been in America before.”

  “Good flight?”

  “Never had better.”

  “We’re about an hour away from the ground. I’m going to take you to your accommodation where you’ll be able to freshen up before this afternoon’s debrief. Full schedule starts tomorrow.”

  He spins in his chair towards me.

  “You realize I have never played American football before, right? I don’t know what Alex and Dougie have told you, but I’m a rugby player, not an American football player.”

  “Are you making excuses already?”

  “No, not at all. Just telling you so you know.”

  “I’m the one that convinced the owners to bring you in.”

  “So you’re the one I’ve got to thank for bringing me all the way out here into the middle of... nowhere.”

  “Thank me when you know whether you mean it or not. You might be hating me after tomorrow.”

  “That depends what everyone else is like. It’s been a good start so far.”

  “Just do your job, and keep out of trouble and you’ll be fine.”

  “Sometimes those things are mutually exclusive.”

  “Not here they’re not. Especially if you want to stay.”

  I don’t think it’s the look I give him, but Jasper decides not to continue that line of conversation anyway.

  “You always pick up new players?”

  “I do if I’ve selected them.”

  “And what’s it like for a woman working in a mostly male environment?”

  “Like everyday life.”

  “I guess you just don’t date pla
yers, right?”

  “A year is a long time, Jasper, I suggest you don’t burn your bridges all in one go. Like I said, I’m your best friend here and I pay your wages. You know how this works, right?”

  “I know how this works.”

  “Good.”

  “My card and my mobile phone don’t work, just so you know.”

  “Cell phone. And we’ll sort out all of that at the club.”

  “Cell phone.”

  “Right.”

  “I can’t wait.”

  “Nor can the rest of the team, they’re excited about meeting you. Oh and word of advice, it’s called football here, not American football, just so you know.”

  “Got it.”

  Jasper spends some of the rest of the journey asleep, some of it fiddling with the headrest, the seat adjustments, the radio and everything else close at hand, some of it making small talk or looking out of the window at the landscape flying past beyond.

  He’s so different to the normal thing we get here, he’s either going to go down a storm or get rejected like a bad donor organ. I still don’t know which way it’s going to go. He’s charismatic, without a doubt, but charisma doesn’t work on everyone and perhaps least of all a bunch of football jocks who don’t want someone from outside telling them how to play their own game even if he’s right.

  Jasper Stone could be a really tough sell on this club, even with those sexy fucking eyes.

  Jasper

  Penny dumps me off at my lodgings to get freshened up before the afternoon meet. I’m expecting an apartment, or some kind of sports complex, or even an upper class hotel, but apparently none of those things exist in Moxlin. I’m in a motel at the edge of town right next to the interstate and Penny’s already disappeared before I can tell her to find me something else.

  This isn’t going to do for a week let alone a season. The room is small, the bed is hard and the paper thin walls don’t keep out any sound at all from the other rooms or the busy road across the way.

  I haven’t thought this through at all. I’m here in this fucking country under contract to a shitty football team for a year. Alright, in reality, I’ll probably be out of here as soon as the season has ended, unless they kick up a fuss and want me for pre-season and friendlies, but still, that’s as good as a fucking year especially if I’m confined to shitty hotel rooms like this one.

  This is not what I expected when I decided to take this on. I don’t know what I expected, but it certainly wasn’t a hard as concrete mattress and a motel room at the very edge of existence.

  There’s nothing I can do about it until Penny comes back, so I decide to take a shower, get myself freshened up just in case she’s not the only good looking girl that works at the club and try and get some sleep. I managed a little bit on the plane but nothing worthwhile, so I figure if I’m going to make a good first impression, I should do it having rested up as much as possible.

  When I’ve met everyone and worked out how I’m going to survive in the ass end of nowhere, I’m going to need a car to get around the city and out of it when I’ve exhausted all the possible avenues for having a good time. Then I’m going to have to work out how to play football and drag this awful team up by their boot laces. I’ve seen enough games to know that the problem with most ‘ballers is that they are just a bunch of pussies. They wear all that armor shit because they don’t want to get their nails cracked or put their hair out of place, so I’m going to make it my job to toughen them up.

  I was working it out on the way over. Alex and Dougie want me to keep my nose clean and stay out of trouble, but there is no way that that’s going to happen. If this team is losing I’m going to do everything in my power to try and get them to start winning again, and there is no way I’m going to be able to do that without treading on a few toes along the way. Penny must know that already, and if she doesn’t, she’s going to know it soon enough.

  Oh and by the way, I’m going to make sure I win her too as well. I’m not going to spend the next several months working with her in this environment and not try and get her into bed. That shit just isn’t going to happen. I’d say she’s probably fucked half of the players already, but Penny just doesn’t look like the type.

  Judging by that rock on her finger, however, I’m going to have to go through someone else to get what I want. That’s never bothered me before, and I’m not going to let it happen now. If Penny’s off limits so be it, but until Penny tells me that at least three times, I’m not going to give up trying. She’s exactly the kind of girl I like, and if she provides a challenge too, well, that’s just even more exciting for me.

  I shower and I try to sleep, but I’m not tired and just end up rolling around the bed with my dick in my hand thinking about Pandora. I wonder which country she’s over now and how much dick she’s sucked in the air. I go for a walk, just to get used to my environment. It’s just after lunch and I’m not outside for long before I realize I’m super hungry. I find a vending machine, and I’m busy punching in the buttons before I remember I haven’t got any money on me to pay for what I want. I’ve got a bit of change in English money but the sour faced woman on the reception desk refuses to change it up for dollars.

  I tell her to put the amount on my bill and finally she digs into her cash register and pulls out a couple of bucks for me. The chocolate has melted a little but it tastes good. I sit on the wall at the edge of the motel and watch the cars go past as I eat it, each one of the passengers inside looking at me like I’ve done something wrong already.

  It’s the end of summer and you can tell in England that the sun has fucked off again for another year, but here it feels like we’re in the middle of the desert. The airport didn’t seem like it was all that isolated, but as soon as we started driving away from the city, the landscape changed and the countryside came rolling in like waves. Past the busy road on the other side from here, their are dusty fields, mountains in the distance and fuck all else.

  If the rest of Moxlin is like this, I’m either going awol or fucking off back home. If I do that though I’m going to need to get my card fixed or tell Dougie to somehow get Alex to keep on paying me.

  How the fuck did I get into this mess? You tell one journalist you’re going to have him murdered and two weeks later you’re sat on a wall in the middle of nowhere watching the world go past at two miles an hour.

  This isn’t what Jasper Stone should be doing with his life. Right now Corsham will be training and I should be right there training with them, getting ready for another season. It hasn’t sunk in properly at all yet, but no rugby means no international games, no post match clubs and VIP bars, no queues of sexy little girls lining up to suck my cock. What do I get instead? I have to play dress up in order to throw a ball around. It isn’t even the same ball either. I looked at both of them just before coming out and what the fuck are those stitches all about?

  There are two teams as well, not that I know which team they want me to play on yet either. Offensive and defensive, as though the game were some kind of strategic battle between two bunches of warriors. These aren’t warriors, not what I’ve seen of them anyway, they are ballerinas more than anything else.

  I guess I’ll work it out this afternoon. One game a week for sixteen games and then the play offs if we do well enough. After that I get to go home. My plan? Score as many points as possible, fuck as many girls, drink as much as I can and get into as much trouble as possible without getting kicked out of the country. I reckon if I manage all of that, I might be able to cope with the weird ass desert country I’ve somehow found myself in.

  Jasper

  We’ve got tons of official shit to sort out. This is what happens whenever a new player signs for Corsham, but I’ve never done it myself because I’ve been at the club since I was old enough to hold a ball.

  The training ground is more impressive than I expect. Penny and Harrison give me the tour, while the press arrange themselves and wait for the official unveil. It’s al
l theatre and I smile and get the shit done just to get it over with. We have photos taken, I hold up a shirt they’ve somehow managed to get done in time, and I answer dumb ass questions about rules and bullshit they all know I’m going to trip up on but ask anyway.

  Journalists all over the world are a bunch of dicks, and if it wasn’t so important for Penny and Harrison, I’d tell them all so as well. This happens once, so I figure I can bite my tongue and play the idiot just for their sake, even though I’m about to snap back the fiftieth time someone says my accent makes me sound cute.

  Harrison and Penny look like they hate it just as much as I do. Harrison’s a grizzly bastard and reminds me of a kind of young Dougie with an American accent and without the beer belly. He’s the owner and the head coach, and he makes it clear I have to respect both of those things if we’re going to get along.

  When the press have gone, they’ve given me the tour of the ground and the facilities, and I’ve shaken hands with every staff member from the head of HR to the cleaners, we go up to their office.

  “Sorry about that, but it’s best to get it out of the way. You’re big news apparently.”

  “Apparently so.”

  “Right. Listen. I’m going to get straight to the point. The reason you’re here at all is because of my daughter. Put one foot out of line and you’re heading straight back to where you came from. What you get up to in England, drinking, fucking, I’m not going to tolerate that here, do you understand me?”

  I don’t think he’s going to have much choice, but it’s not going to do me any good telling him that.

  “You won’t have any trouble with me.”

  “I’m not entirely sure that’s true.”

  “Look, I’m here to play football. Let’s concentrate on that shall we?”

  “I mean it, Jasper. Step out of line and you're on a plane back home.”

  “I get it.”

  Even though it’s clear he doesn’t believe me, we finally move on.