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  “Alright, gather round.”

  We’ve got one of the smallest squads in the league but it’s still a huge operation. Players, technical staff, medical staff, officials, permanent and temporary behind the scenes staff, publicity, marketing, advertising and every other department I’ve not been forced to shut down to keep this ship going. Right now though, it’s just the players, my dad and I, and they don’t exactly look upbeat.

  “Who knows anything about rugby?”

  The players look at each other and back at my dad.

  “England?”

  “Are we changing sport now?”

  “Can’t be a bad decision, we fucking suck.”

  I take control. “We’re getting a new player.”

  “How can we afford a new player? We’ve barely got enough to pay for Mosley to get his haircut.”

  “Hey, fuck you man.”

  “You look after the football, I’ll look after the finances.”

  “We wanted to give you the heads up before our last training session.”

  “Who is he?”

  Now Dad and I look at each other. “Anyone heard of Jasper Stone?”

  Out of the crowd of players on the field in front of us, Jackson raises his hand.

  “I know who he is.”

  “You want to tell the rest of us.”

  “Jasper Stone’s like this beast man, two meters tall, as wide as a house, faster than any of us, even you Jones, but he doesn’t play our game Penny, with all due respect.”

  Dad takes over. “Yeah, well, he does now.”

  “Are you serious, Penny? Harrison? You’re drafting an English Rugby player into the NFL? Can you even do that?”

  “It’s done, Topher.”

  “This is the answer to our problems? Someone that doesn’t know how to play our game.”

  I can see they’re not all that convinced, but I expected more support from Topher at least.

  “Jasper Stone is the best chance this club has for survival.”

  “And the first draft pick? We need two new running backs and a new wide receiver.”

  “Hey!”

  A few players have to hold Mosley back from strutting up to Topher, and it takes Dad’s voice to calm them back down.

  “The decision has already been made. Make him feel at home. Topher, he’s under your wing.”

  “Fuck sake, why have I got to look after him?”

  “Because you’re the star quarterback that’s why.”

  “Was”, Mosley says under his breath.

  “Hey, what the fuck did you say?”

  Mosley holds up his hands, innocently.

  “Enough.”

  “That it?”

  Dad looks at me and I nod. “Class dismissed.”

  At the tunnel Topher catches up to me. I feel his hand on my arm pull me to a halt.

  “You should have told me.”

  “We only got confirmation this morning.”

  “Why aren’t we taking the pick, Pen? Surely if Moxlin want out of this rut, we’d get rid of some of our older players so we can afford to pay a new one. Mosley is dead weight, he’s done nothing for three seasons and Frome, Hidalgo, even Jackson is holding us back. ”

  I shrug.

  “It isn’t as simple as that. Everyone’s on contract, Topher. We just can’t sack them like that. Besides which, even if we did, we still wouldn’t be able to afford to bring someone new in.”

  “And English?”

  “Jasper Stone’s English club are paying his contract for the year. He’s not costing us a thing.”

  “Apart from the fact he doesn’t know anything about football, and you want me to teach him. That takes time, Penny. Resources.”

  “Come on babe, you are this club, there’s no better player here, Dad and I both know it. You’re perfect for the job.”

  “You should have asked me first.”

  “I knew you wouldn’t mind that’s why I knew I didn’t need to.”

  I wrap my arms around his neck just to make sure he can’t escape.

  “He better know how to listen properly.”

  “I knew you’d come round.”

  “How could I refuse?”

  “You never can.”

  I’m about to kiss him when I hear Dad’s voice.

  “Alright you two, that’s enough. In this tunnel you are my quarterback and my treasurer, outside you can become boyfriend and girlfriend again.”

  “Right.”

  I push myself away from him and the three of us walk towards the locker room.

  “When is he coming?”

  “With any luck, he’ll already be on his way.”

  Jasper

  I’ve never been to America before. Come to think of it, I’ve never been outside of Europe either. I’ve travelled a fair bit with the game, but never to anywhere even half as exotic as Arkansas.

  I had to look it up and I wish I hadn’t. I’ve learned two things, America is huge and Arkansas is in the middle of nowhere. I can’t believe I’m really going to do this but then what choice do I have? Stay here in England and get another job? Try and get the ban lifted? Clean boots for all the other players? Fuck that.

  They probably could have found something non-rugby related for me to do at the club, but that would just kill me. If I was surrounded by rugby day in and day out and couldn’t even kick the ball back to everyone else my heart would break.

  Dougie and Alex have sorted out the contract, all I have to do is get on a plane and get into a taxi at the other end. My accommodation has been arranged in advance and the season starts at the weekend, although if they have any sense at all, there’s no way they’ll want me to play anyway.

  I checked out Moxlin Tigers, and they are shit. I mean, really shit. They are the worst team in the league and have been for two seasons running. Even if I completely fuck up and have no idea what I’m doing, there’s still a chance I’m going to make the side better. Why Dougie and Alex couldn’t have arranged something with one of the better teams I have no fucking idea. A year in New York or San Francisco or Chicago would have been paradise compared to what Moxlin looks like on a map, but they probably wouldn’t have agreed to it either. I may be a fucking great rugby player, but I’m not exactly the easiest sell here, and bigger teams have reputations to keep. As long as Moxlin isn’t the ass end of nowhere, and there’s somewhere to get drunk, get laid and have fun outside of the game, I’m going to be able to adjust. Probably.

  At least I’m getting paid. I mean, I’ve got to look on the bright side. Two years without rugby and without any income at all, or one year playing a game that’s basically the same with armor and American accents and a break every twelve seconds, paid. I’ve just got to get through the season and then I get to come back home and start all over again playing rugby.

  I’m appealing the decision on principle anyway, even though I’ve decided to go. A two season ban for a threat off the field is massively disproportionate and I want to make as much of a fuss about it as possible. Yeah I’ve been a bit of a naughty boy on and off the field ever since I started, but nothing I’ve done has ever been too outrageous, and certainly hasn’t deserved a ban like this one. They just have it in for me. I reckon it’s jealousy. They see how successful I am, how many good looking girls want to sleep with me, how much money I make, and they want to bring me down to their level. Fuck them.

  I’m going to go to America, prove to everyone that I’m not only the best rugby player in the world but the best American Football player as well and wait for the apologies to roll in.

  One year in another country, playing another sport in another league with complete and utter strangers. How difficult can that be? I’ve never fucked a girl from America before either, so there’s always that.

  I haven’t got many people to say goodbye to so it doesn’t take me long to do the rounds. Mom, mates from rugby and mates from outside it, girls, more girls and the others that I hadn’t got round to seeing just yet and l
astly, Dad. Dad’s always the easiest because he’s always in the same position and the conversation is one sided. If that poor bastard were still alive he’d kick me in the balls for even thinking about playing a different sport, and then he’d kick everyone’s heads in from the disciplinary board for telling me I couldn’t play rugby here. He was outspoken my dad, right up until the day he couldn’t speak anymore. He was the most important influence in my life and I miss him everyday.

  Corsham put me in business class and it’s fucking incredible. Usually when we travel to international games we get the same kind of treatment, but I didn’t expect it on this journey at all. I thought they were going to stuff me into economy, shut the door and forget about me for a year.

  As I settle into my seat, a glass of champagne on the sidearm and a bowl of warm nuts right next to it, I wonder whether I should be more concerned about the sudden new direction my life has taken.

  I know nothing about what is going to happen. I haven’t even spoken to the contacts at the club. For all I know, Alex and Dougie are business-classing me off to a work camp in the middle of nowhere to break boulders into sand for a year. I’ve got the name of the owner and the team, and I’ve watched a few videos of their games but beyond that, I’m clueless.

  Fuck it. If it doesn’t work out, it’s hardly my fault. It’s not like they’re not used to the English. I’ll just show them how they should be playing the game, not how they think they should be doing it, because based on what I’ve seen, they wouldn’t last two minutes in one of my games, even with the pads on.

  The air stewardesses are cute, and I can’t help but flirt with them. One of them recognizes me too, which gives me a little glimmer of hope for joining the mile high club. I’m going to get a little buzz on first and wait until they’ve served dinner. I don’t mind fucking in tight little spaces, but I’m not prepared to do it on an empty stomach, no matter how good looking these girls are.

  “Is everything alright, Mr. Stone?”

  “Fantastic, thank you. Fucking A.”

  We go from Heathrow to JFK and have a two hour stopover before the next plane leaves, during which time Pandora and I get ourselves a little better acquainted in one of the onsite hotels. She’s not American, so I’ve still got that box to tick, but she does fuck like she could be. I mean, I’ve seen American girls in porn films and I always wondered whether they were as enthusiastic as the films made out. I guess I’ll still have to wait and see, but Pandora is like that. In fact, she screams so much when she comes I’m surprised the glass in the mirror doesn’t shatter.

  It isn’t a bad start I suppose. I’ve hardly been in my new adopted country for more than an hour and I’ve already managed to get laid.

  Pandora has to go off and work and I’ve got another plane to catch, so we check out of the hotel an hour after checking in and both go our separate ways. It takes three hours to get to Arkansas from JFK and already people are beginning to talk in weird accents. I get odd looks from odd looking people and for the first time on the journey I begin to feel a bit unsettled about where it is I’m going exactly.

  We arrive at Little Rock and the taxi’s nowhere to be seen. My cell phone doesn’t work and neither does my card in the ATM.

  I don’t have any dollar bills in my wallet either because I didn’t think I’d need them. I’m about to ask the concierge if I can use the phone on her desk to call England, when I see this beautiful girl coming towards me. I mean she is so beautiful my brain is scrambled for a minute and I have to concentrate hard not to sound like a dick when I talk to her. For a minute I think she’s going to bowl right past me and then she stops in front and looks me up and down with a twinkle and a smile.

  “Jasper Stone?”

  I straighten up so she can see me in all my glory.

  “Yeah, that’s me.”

  “You’re bigger than you look on TV. I’m Penny, welcome to Arkansas.”

  Penny sticks out her hand and in mine it disappears quickly.

  “You’re my taxi driver?”

  “I’m your taxi driver, your publicist and your best friend. I also pay your wages while you’re here so you better be nice to me.”

  “I think I can manage that.”

  Penny doesn’t even give me a second look. I guess if she works with men every day, she might have somehow got immune to them. I look forward to changing that soon though, because damn this girl is hot.

  “So is everyone who works at the club like you?”

  “Like me, how?”

  “Female and cute.”

  She gives me a side glare for that macho comment and then ignores it completely.

  “Come on, let’s go. We need to get you up to speed.”

  “Just show me where.”

  I follow Penny’s cute little ass to the tarmac outside the airport where she’s left her car.

  “I was expecting a limousine.”

  “You do well enough you can take one back at the end of the season. Right now, this is all Moxlin can afford.”

  I dump my bags in the trunk and get inside.

  Penny

  To be fair, he does look like trouble. Tattoos snaking up arms as thick as tree branches, a chest that makes the T-shirt he’s wearing look painted on. He’s got gorgeous eyes that they failed to mention and didn’t come across at all as well in the photos and videos I’ve studied, and a something about him I can’t quite put my finger on, that’s more than just that cheeky, knowing smile, it’s something that says, ‘watch me, I’m dangerous’.

  This is the kind of person that girls fall in love with like that, and they don’t even know why. This one’s got heartbreaker written all over him. I knew it already, I’ve read the reports, the newspaper articles, the column inches, but it doesn’t matter, that’s not why he’s here anyway. He’s here to perform for us in a sporting capacity, not a sexual one, and it’s our job as staff members at Moxlin Tigers to make sure he does just that. It’s my job as much as possible to keep him out of trouble as well, because I know if I don’t it’ll be the end of The Tigers and the end of my job.

  “Been in Arkansas before?”

  “I’ve never even been in America before.”

  “Good flight?”

  “Never had better.”

  “We’re about an hour away from the ground. I’m going to take you to your accommodation where you’ll be able to freshen up before this afternoon’s debrief. Full schedule starts tomorrow.”

  He spins in his chair towards me.

  “You realize I have never played American football before, right? I don’t know what Alex and Dougie have told you, but I’m a rugby player, not an American football player.”

  “Are you making excuses already?”

  “No, not at all. Just telling you so you know.”

  “I’m the one that convinced the owners to bring you in.”

  “So you’re the one I’ve got to thank for bringing me all the way out here into the middle of... nowhere.”

  “Thank me when you know whether you mean it or not. You might be hating me after tomorrow.”

  “That depends what everyone else is like. It’s been a good start so far.”

  “Just do your job, and keep out of trouble and you’ll be fine.”

  “Sometimes those things are mutually exclusive.”

  “Not here they’re not. Especially if you want to stay.”

  I don’t think it’s the look I give him, but Jasper decides not to continue that line of conversation anyway.

  “You always pick up new players?”

  “I do if I’ve selected them.”

  “And what’s it like for a woman working in a mostly male environment?”

  “Like everyday life.”

  “I guess you just don’t date players, right?”

  “A year is a long time, Jasper, I suggest you don’t burn your bridges all in one go. Like I said, I’m your best friend here and I pay your wages. You know how this works, right?”

  “I
know how this works.”

  “Good.”

  “My card and my mobile phone don’t work, just so you know.”

  “Cell phone. And we’ll sort out all of that at the club.”

  “Cell phone.”

  “Right.”

  “I can’t wait.”

  “Nor can the rest of the team, they’re excited about meeting you. Oh and word of advice, it’s called football here, not American football, just so you know.”

  “Got it.”

  Jasper spends some of the rest of the journey asleep, some of it fiddling with the headrest, the seat adjustments, the radio and everything else close at hand, some of it making small talk or looking out of the window at the landscape flying past beyond.

  He’s so different to the normal thing we get here, he’s either going to go down a storm or get rejected like a bad donor organ. I still don’t know which way it’s going to go. He’s charismatic, without a doubt, but charisma doesn’t work on everyone and perhaps least of all a bunch of football jocks who don’t want someone from outside telling them how to play their own game even if he’s right.

  Jasper Stone could be a really tough sell on this club, even with those sexy fucking eyes.

  Jasper

  Penny dumps me off at my lodgings to get freshened up before the afternoon meet. I’m expecting an apartment, or some kind of sports complex, or even an upper class hotel, but apparently none of those things exist in Moxlin. I’m in a motel at the edge of town right next to the interstate and Penny’s already disappeared before I can tell her to find me something else.

  This isn’t going to do for a week let alone a season. The room is small, the bed is hard and the paper thin walls don’t keep out any sound at all from the other rooms or the busy road across the way.

  I haven’t thought this through at all. I’m here in this fucking country under contract to a shitty football team for a year. Alright, in reality, I’ll probably be out of here as soon as the season has ended, unless they kick up a fuss and want me for pre-season and friendlies, but still, that’s as good as a fucking year especially if I’m confined to shitty hotel rooms like this one.

  This is not what I expected when I decided to take this on. I don’t know what I expected, but it certainly wasn’t a hard as concrete mattress and a motel room at the very edge of existence.